Barbara Shine, Activist-volunteeer

Courtesy absurd

Kneeling in the crisp December grass,
the young man reached toward her,
offering a bundle of torn nylon,
remnants of panties and hose.

“Here,” he said,
returning only the least
of what he had ripped
from her that night.

Frowning over dark hooded eyes,
he must have known
that her security was forever lost
and self-assurance shredded.

Yet, good habits overrode shock,
and she said, “thank you,”
taking her clothes from his hand
as if he’d given her a pencil or a rose.

-- Barbara Shine

As I worked with my therapist each week, I
began to see a goal I ached to reach –
becoming one of the volunteers who meets
with sexual assault victims to help them
through the early hours of their crisis. It
was not purely unselfish, this wish to help
other victims. It was also a touchstone I
badly needed: a sign to myself and others
that I was going to be all right.

After graduating from rape trauma therapy
in 1990, I immediately applied for a
volunteer slot. Amazed and gratified to be
approved, I went through “outreach
volunteer” training and started working
with victims in October that year.

My volunteer job with the Montgomery
County (MD) Victim Assistance and
Sexual Assault Program continued off and
on for more than 12 years. And after
moving 120 miles to our new home in
Virginia, one of my first tasks for settling
in was to sign up with a similar program
that could use my help.

I found The Haven Shelter & Service s in
Warsaw, VA. The Haven serves victims of
domestic violence, sexual assault, and
stalking in a five-county area. The Haven
also presents programs designed to help
turn the tide: prevention education and
activities to help children and teens
understand how they can develop healthy
relationships and avoid or prevent violent
behavior.



			*Activist-volunteer* For virtually everyone who experiences sexual assault, the event is life-altering. For some of us, it's life-defining. This doesn't mean that “rape survivor” is my primary self-image, though it's an important element in who I am. But I see all of my past life as “before the rape” or “since the rape.” It seems that “I was raped” is the only fact of my biography that runs through my consciousness every single day. When I was raped by a stranger late in 1986, he turned my life upside down. I was traumatized in a way that could not be reversed or even roughly patched up in a matter of days or weeks or months. I lost nearly 3-1/2 years of my life to just working my way back into the sunlight from the dark pit that captures and grimly holds onto rape victims. Since signing on as a Haven volunteer, I’ve had a chance to - work with shelter residents in support groups, - help with training new volunteers, - write publicity materials, - support fundraising, - make presentations on the issues and our programs, and - join the Haven Board of Directors. Furthermore, the Haven opened the door to my receiving advanced training and joining the faculty of the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance Training Institute. In this post, I’ll be able to help get even more well-trained professionals and volunteer advocates out into the field to help victims of these violent crimes find their way out of fear and back to a normal life. Any visitors to this page who would like to have a speaker on the subject of sexual assault or domestic violence (for a group of any size) should send an e-mail to discuss topics and possible dates. I always welcome opportunities to promote understanding of victims' issues.